If You Like What You Read

Monday, November 14, 2011

Dear Ma, Jail Is Really Boring...

On with the story of the guy asking me to help him escape prison... I think I mentioned his name was McMullen. “Yeah, right, sure it is.”, I know you’re thinking. Okay, ya got me. His name wasn't really McMullen, but then neither is mine George Osled. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, or guilty. However you want to frame it. The purpose of this writing though, isn't to protect or hurt for that matter, anyone, living or dead. It's to just to get the truth out there. Tell the real story. Set the record straight. Yada, yada, yada. And to make a shit-load of money in the process. More than the guy paid me to help him escape jail, the guy whose real name is not McMullen. Anyway, I digress...

As mentioned somewhere below I think, Inmate #1369631E, approached me one day and asked me to help him escape Gardenview State Prison, in Nowville, NJ. I think it was a Monday, but it's hard to tell. Everyday is Monday at Gardenview. It's not like most of those reality prison shows you see on TV. Not even close. The place is boring as shit. Which in truth, is actually a good thing in jail, because if anything interesting ever does happen there, it's usually bad. Maybe things are more interesting at some of the other state or federal prisons, where the clientele are more "seasoned", but GSP for the most part is just a huge juvenile delinquent baby-sitting parlor. Don't get me wrong, we got your murderers, rapists, baby-stabbers and girly-grabbers, but for the most part, these guys are not yet well-worn hardened criminals. They're mostly just emotionally-wounded punks who did too many stupid things over too short a period of time and got caught. In many cases, the only difference between some of them and some of the people responsible for keeping them locked-up is the fact that the last two words of the previous sentence don't apply to the latter group. Now the former group could certainly become real deal hardened criminals one day if they work hard enough at it and keep up their current means of interacting with the big bad world, but being young and under the age of thirty for the most part, they can still be occasionally convinced otherwise of their foolish ways. The older we get though, the smaller that window of convincing gets I'm convinced. Not that it ever gets so small it can't be accessed. It's just that the more we paint over it with erroneous beliefs about ourselves and the world "out there", the less likely it is we'll be able to see it and crawl through it. Okay, I'm rambling again, so I'll stop for now.